Mix Tapes are the Voice of the Soul

Here's an old post I found, dated May 27, 2010...

I'm looking through all the papers listing the tracks of old mix cassettes I have made (I keep documents on all sorts of shit, and hard copies). I have made only one tape for someone I loved, everything else was for friends. I made some crazy awesome mixes. And ya know what? I've still never been given a mix tape. Ever. I guess I just have bad luck with musical exchange.

Looking back on mix tapes is a funny thing. Bringing back old thoughts, emotions, and memories. I remember making my first tape. I was 10, I think? I held up a recorder next to a stereo, calling radio stations requesting songs and waiting hours for them to play. Yeah, I did it the hard, awkward way. I never really gave tapes to anyone. I just used the same cassette, listened to it over and over until I was bored, and then re-recorded over it with new songs.

The kicker is, the one tape I made for a past love was never listened to. It was thrown away directly after giving it to them. Actually, I am listening to the hard copy right now. It's weird reflecting back on it. How subliminal those songs were, yet how strongly they made the point. In a way, I'm glad it was never heard. On the other hand, if only he had known what I was trying to say when I couldn't find words myself. I even put the first song we ever listened to together on it, the song we became friends to, when we realized we related on music, and started getting to know each other because of. On this tape is also a song that he used to sing while playing guitar, when he used to try to impress me.... I digress.

I can't remember who I actually gave my first mix tape to. Or what songs were on it. It was probably to my childhood best friend, Katie, because I know I had made tapes with her before, and honestly, aside from my little sister, she was my only friend growing up. I never was one to be popular, or really have any friends. I didn't start making tapes for friends until I actually had a tape to spare, which came long after I wore out that original recorded tape I re-used for years.

It's outrageous how extinct cassettes are becoming. I have made tapes for people who don't even own cassette players anymore. I went to Target about a year ago looking for blank recordable tapes and the guy working the electronics department said they didn't sell tapes because they haven't been made in years. Yeah, fuck you new-age-iPod-retard. I fucking found a bulk supply at Rainy Day Records of 60 and 90 minute blank Maxells. "They don't make cassettes anymore" MY ASS. Oldschool, see-through, recordable awesomeness.

Like I said, to this day, I have never been given a mix tape. Or a mix CD for that matter. I've made deals with friends before, promising to trade tapes. I always made them a mix, and have yet to get any in return. I don't really mind that much, though. I enjoy making a gift for a friend more than I enjoy receiving. It would be cool if someone made a tape for me, but I like making tapes for others. I have so many mixes I want to share. It's a wonderful feeling, sharing music. Sitting next to the tape deck carefully calculating the timing of each song and hitting the stop button at just the right second. The split second of static from someone stumbling on the buttons while recording, the fact that each song is perfectly planned... Giving or receiving, it's pretty wonderful.

Since writing this, I had a lover that made me several mix CD's. The last CD He made for me was called "Happy on the Outside" right after we broke up. He had a stack of cheap blanks that didn't really work, and tried three times to make me a copy using the same CD's but they were all glitchy and wouldn't play. He said it was because my CD player was stupid, but player played every other CD he ever made me. And sometimes, he'll admit that it was in fact the crappy CD's he was using, only after several shots of Jack Daniels. But he never tried making it for me again after that. I'll never get to hear what was on it, and I didn't write down the track list so I can't go looking it up on my own. Even if I did, I'd still like to have the actual disk, he even made a nice cover to go with it, with a smiley face and a tear drop on it. And so goes my luck...

There was another instance, where I joined an international mixed tape exchange. Several countries were involved. We would write our name and our address and the person in charge would randomly mix up everything, send you a name and address to make a mixed CD for, and then your name and address would be sent to a different random person. I can't remember who I sent my mix to, but I have the CD from the girl that got me as her receiver. I have the letter right here. Her name is Camille. She's from Louisiana. She's 18, and she wants to be a screen writer. She likes jazz and blues, Queen, Bowie, and Micheal Jackson. She has Trent Reznor's guitar pick from a concert she went to. I love the mix she sent me. I wanted to write her back and thank her for the CD and the music, and continue talking to her, but I lost the envelope. I guess I accidentally threw it away and forgot to get her address off it. She cut out a picture of eyes and a mustache to make the CD cover. I'd like to be friends with her one day.

Anybody else have any stories about mix tapes or mix CD's?