The Good, the Bad, the Oly.

I come from an unfortunately small town (Olympia, WA), and I detest it with all my might, but refuse to move elsewhere. I suppose, one could say it isn’t that I refuse to move, it’s just that I am comfortable enough here not to. I have such mixed feelings about this place, let me explain: 

(Olympia's finest, which hasn't been brewed in Olympia since 2003) 

 

I grow increasingly irritated at the town I live in because of its predominant hipster mentality that seems to be so infectious (I saw a poor little southern girl get enveloped within only a few months of moving here, so sad...). This mentality is insestual and passive, and rather aggravating. Most of the people that live here are college transplants (we have three colleges), or people that moved from some other similar community because they wanted something “different” but didn't want change. The people here seem to all like to sleep with each other and think it’s all fine and dandy. Sexual freedom is fine and dandy, but I’d rather not know that all my friends have had sex with each other, and I certainly don’t feel like discussing how somebody I am currently seeing has slept with any of my friends. I’d actually rather not know that at all. I’m more the monogamist type that likes relationships, but almost every person I know has nearly 5 different sex partners a month. And they all think I’m the one that isn’t open-minded because I don’t sleep with everyone around me. I’m open-minded as hell, I just don’t need to fuck everyone to prove it, and I don’t like being pressured into the idea of sleeping with everyone just to fit in. That just isn’t my thing.

So many people like to pretend to be activists ‘round these parts, but all they are doing is being unnecessarily overly-defensive and talking too much about crap they hardly know about. The girls are all hardcore feminists (with the idealistic wooly mammoth legs), the boys are all void of emotion whilst pretending they are profound philosophers, and everyone is an alcoholic vegan/vegetarian in a crappy band that has no real fans except for their friends, who are also in crappy bands. Nobody is going anywhere in this town that is overcrowded with arrogant twenty-something’s. The few thirty-something year olds that participate in this “thriving” scene are generally still there because they haven’t grown up yet and moved on.

There are too many flannels. I know it’s cold, but Christ. Enough is enough, flannels have a reason and a purpose and it shouldn't be exploited year-round. And the unkempt mustaches! I am a fan of mustaches, I love them, and I think they are amazing, but having a crappy one just to be “ironic” isn’t really that cool, it’s just pretentious, and makes you look fucking stupid. And they’re all misinterpreting irony, too. Did I mention every single person here is a self-proclaimed artist? No, you’re not an artist, douche bag, you just want to call yourself that because you think it makes you unique to be EXACTLY THE SAME as every fucking other liberal arts student around you.

There never seems to be enough PBR around here to keep up with fashion, either. The trend is to look like you are constantly hung-over, and unwashed from a night of coke-snorting, binge-drinking, sex parties, and you must keep this look at all times, no matter the occasion. Weddings? Funerals? Your nephew’s 2^nd birthday? It doesn’t matter, because you didn’t have the time to change into a cleaner 80’s t-shirt (that may as well have nothing to do with you or your life because you were probably born after ‘87 anyways) while you are hurrying off to the co-op to buy a brand of organic coffee that is essentially the same as every other coffee, but it’s cool because it’s organic. And don't forget to add a nice slab of pizza grease to your [always uncombed and asymmetrically-cut] hair, for that extra "I don't give a fuck!" look.

Everybody wants to be angry about something, when there really isn’t anything to be angry about. They always find something to be bitch about, though. Like how some crappy noise band’s latest album totally sounded like they sold out and were getting too mainstream (despite the fact that it still has not signed with any record label). Or they want to be angry at society for being too… Mainstream. Everything is just too mainstream!

And the worst part is that they all want to complain about exactly what I have written here, while simultaneously doing it. Really? REALLY?? STFU AND GTFO!

There is, however, a brighter side of living in a small town. When you have had your flirtations with the scene like I have, you get to know a lot of people and develop many relationships. And in a small town, after having been able to get to know the community, it’s nice to walk down the street and see familiar faces. Aside from the general passive-aggressiveness that radiates in the “drama-free” social groups (“drama-free” is taken with a grain of salt, we all know there is a tremendous amount of drama even if we don’t want to admit it), people still smile and say hi, and ask how you are doing. The town is too small to hold grudges, so you have to learn to get over your shit (or at least pretend to) quickly and play nice.

The music scene isn’t really that bad. For as many fleeting, crappy, alternative music projects going on that last the duration of a semester at most, there are also many quality bands that produce good music worth checking out. Many shows are hit or miss, but the hits make all the misses worth the trouble. And quite a few well-known and semi-well-known bands and artists have their roots in Oly, too (e.g. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Music_of_Olympia).

As mentioned earlier, everybody thinks they are an artist, but they all think that because they are surrounded by so many legitimate artists. Many buildings downtown have murals by local painters, and there is a plethora of art groups and projects going on, and every venue and many restaurants and bars have turned their walls into a display area for local artists, not to mention a gallery on every block. After a saddening closing of a popular west-side art supply store, a couple of Olympia noobs came in and saw the opportunity to open a new business called Olyphant that is thriving harder than anyone could imagine a small business in this economy to, and now has a large building located downtown that also hosts art classes, and is a focal point in the local network of painters, sculptors, inkers, and sketchers alike.

And one of my favorite parts of Olympia is how community-orientated it is. Off the top of my head, aside from the new city hall (which is an eyesore and completely unwanted by “the people”), and one single Starbucks (that doesn’t get nearly as much business as any of the other cafés in town), downtown is mom-and-pop shops, quaint and cozy locally owned businesses, and near completely free of any big, corporate business. The money we spend in the community stays in our community, that’s how our little economy works, and that's how we like to keep it.

I guess, for as much as I can bitch about it, I can revel about Olympia, too. But seriously, quit with the fucking flannels.